


Finding My Way Back to You

by Shackleddamsel



Series: A Drarry Adventure [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Break Up, Eventual Happy Ending, Everyone Is Gay, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-04-17 22:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14198895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shackleddamsel/pseuds/Shackleddamsel
Summary: What are you willing to lose for the greater good? Albus Dumbledore gave up people, Severus gave up himself and Harry Potter will give up the greatest love of his life.





	1. Goodbye to Us

**Author's Note:**

> Join me as Harry and Draco journey from friendship, to break up to indifference and estrangement. Let's find out if they could find their own happy ending.

"I'm going then," Draco Malfoy was awkwardly standing at the door to the kitchen with his hands in his pockets. He was honestly lost for words. What do you say to your lover before you leave him for good? Nothing really. There was nothing he could say that would make all of this better. He was leaving the best part of his life behind and facing what was expected of him all along. He watched the other man's back still wearing pyjamas and a well-worn shirt.

Harry Potter took a deep breath before facing Draco, his back to the sink. He looked him over from head to toe in his regular suit because this might be the last time he would be doing it. The moment Draco left Harry would lose him forever. "You got everything?"

"Yes, Kreacher moved everything back to the Manor."

Harry nodded in acknowledgement as he didn't know what else to say. He crossed his arms on his chest as he leaned back on the edge of the sink. "That's good. You keep forgetting things."

"Harry…"

"This is it then, huh? This is farewell. It's been good, while it lasts."

"Harry, I---"

"Don't. Please. Let's not go there." Harry smiled weakly at his lover, ex-lover now. "Clean cut, right?" 

Draco clenched his hands into fists inside his pockets to stop himself from reaching out to Harry and begging him to take him back, to stop him from leaving. They had to do this. There was no happy ending waiting for them. What they had was responsibilities and expectations. And they both didn't have the strength to fight against it.

"You should leave." 

"Take care of yourself, love. Please," Draco asked, his voice pleading. He knew Harry was prone to neglecting himself for the greater good, whatever that means. He let his gaze linger a bit more, taking in as much as he could of the man who changed his life, the man who showed him the light and gave him direction. He turned to leave after what felt like a long while. He stopped just before the door that would take him out of Harry's life and pinched the bridge of his nose to stop the tears that was threatening. When he was sure they won't just spill over he opened the door and closed it gently behind him for the last time.

Harry heard the door close and the tell-tale pop and all the emotions he had been holding in came crashing in on him. He slumped on the floor and let himself cry for his loss. He vaguely wondered how he would survive without Draco when it's only just been a few moments and it already felt like he was dying.

~~~

Daily Prophet

Draco Malfoy and Astoria Greengrass to tie the knot

~~~

"So Malfoy moved out?" Ron inquired as he perused the Daily Prophet. 

Harry looked up a bit from the parchments he was studying. Ron dropped by at his office before going out on surveillance. As Senior Auror he was not required to be on the field unless it's a high profile case or there was an emergency. He removed his glasses to rub his eyes before turning back to his work. "He doesn't have a choice, does he? He was summoned to perform his duties. His words not mine."

Ron chuckled before folding the paper. "I honestly thought he'll go through with leaving his father, to hell with inheritance."

"He won't get anywhere if Lucius disowns him. We need him in the Wizengamot." Fuck it, Harry knew the reason why they were all doing this. They swore to do anything to avoid another Voldemort incident and to be able to do that they need to be in power. Malfoy in Wizengamot, Hermione as near to the Minister as possible, Severus Snape in Hogwarts as Headmaster, Ron in the field with the public and him as Head Auror. They were so near the goal but it meant giving up on some things. They couldn't be together. Its not going to do them any good if it became public knowledge that the Saviour was in a romantic relationship with another man who happened to be a former Death Eater.

"Mate. Mate!"

"Yeah, sorry."

"I know we are at a critical point right now but you got to remember we have 'Mione and Snape running this show. All we have to do is follow them."

He nodded at Ron. His friend was right with Hermione and Severus planning everything, all he had to do was endure not being with his lover and watching him marry another. Just the thought of it hurt so much, it was going to kill him.

 

~~~

Malfoy Manor

"Draco."

Draco turned to see the person he had been yearning for in the past months. They promised to stay out of each other's life as much as they could to make it easier but damn it, the absence is slowly suffocating him. He was about to tie himself to another person that he would not be able to love fully or at all. Because his heart and whatever had been left of his soul was already owned by this man. This selfless man who would give up his life for the world and the only thing he could do to help him achieve his goals were to give up on him.

"It would have been suspicious if I didn't come and well Severus said this would be the best place to be seen," Harry stepped into the room keeping the door ajar behind him. "I don't want to be here and witness your wedding for myself but like always duty calls."

Draco reached for him and wrapped him in his arms, he squeezed him in his embrace afraid of letting him go. He blinked a few times to vanish the tears before releasing Harry to cup the side of his face in his palms. "It'll be better. I promise." He took out his wand and pointed it on the ring finger of their right hand as they entwined them. He murmured a spell and made a ring of light appear around it. 

"What did you do," Harry pulled back his hand from him and clutched it.

"It'll make it easier somehow. Let me just say this now before everything else get out of our control." He grasped both of Harry's hands again and brought them to his lips on a gentle kiss. "It doesn't matter who I'm married to or who I lay down with at night, my everything belongs to you. And always remember we are doing this go make sure no child would have to go through what we experienced."

They were so wrapped up in their declaration that they didn't hear a suppressed sob from just outside the door as the future Madam Malfoy suppressed her own tears.

~~~

At first everything was a blurry of emotions, all of them trying to kill him from the inside. But as he watched Astoria slide the ring on Draco's finger everything just disappeared. It was like a heavy weight on his chest that has been lifted but he didn't feel any relief. He knew something was missing from him and he couldn't remember what it was. 

"Is everything alright, Harry?" 

Harry turned to see Ginny standing beside him. He vaguely recalled that she arrived in time for this wedding from her tour with her Quidditch team. He felt her hand on his arm but it felt strange. He looked around and his eyes fell on the groom. Draco caught his eyes and their gazes lingered for a while before the other man nodded at him in what seemed like reassurance before turning back back to the crowd waiting to greet them. Draco's subtle support seemed more natural than Ginny's hand on him but he shook the thought. He needed to concentrate on the visitors since they were here to be seen by them. Severus and Draco used this event to gather the political majority in Wizengamot and he would not let their efforts go in vain. This would cement his way up the Ministry and from there he would rebuild the wizarding world, that was if they didn't bugger it up further. Oh well.

~~~

Daily Prophet

New Head Auror announced engagement to Famous Quidditch Keeper Ginny Weasley

Draco folded the paper to try and forget the headline. He closed his eyes as he leaned back on his chair. He knew the announcement was inevitable but it still shocked him. With this he would completely lose Harry. He was sitting there for a while when he felt someone pat his hand and he opened his eyes to see his wife who was looking at him kindly. He just had to thank Merlin for his choice of wife. 

"I'll do everything I can go support the two of you. What you are trying to do for our world, I'll give everything I can to see it come true."

"I'm so lucky to have you, Astoria. And I'm so sorry to sentence you to a life with me."

Astoria shook her head at him. "You gave me everything that you have, Draco. I won't hold it against you that you could not give me something that is not yours anymore."


	2. Chapter 2

Minister Harry Potter sat alone in his office as he affixed his signature to the last law that he would be passing as a minister. It had been an uphill climb to bring the wizarding world out of the dark ages to the modern world it is now and after two decades since the the battle of Hogwarts he was more than ready to step down and live his own life in relative peace.

He closed his eyes and let the memories of the past years take him back to the Headmaster's office where all of this started.

Changes were not happening as fast as they would have wanted and the situation are getting worst and non-wizard citizens were restless and apprehensive of the Ministry. 

"Kingsley is just not enough to to make it happen," voice Headmaster Snape. "The Wizengamot is still mostly composed of pureblood families, Potter. War or not they would be swayed by traditions."

"Then what difference does it make if I took the rein of the Ministry?" They had been arguing this point as he refused to take on the Minister post if he could help it.

"A name, Potter. Did you not learn from the Dark Lord just how powerful a name could be?"

"It's not like I could just force any law to be approved!" He was getting exasperated as they go back and forth.

"Of course not," his former proffesor agreed impatiently. "That's where allies come in. As Headmaster, I'm sitting at the Board of Governors. And I would take the Prince seat in Wizengamot. I was the right-hand man of Albus Dumbledore and I sat with the Dark Lord for dinner, my name carries power as well."

Harry just shook his head at the Headmaster, he couldn't do this. He already did his part, what more could they ask for after he willingly walked to his own death to save the world, dammit! "You said it yourself, Snape, the Wizengamot is composed of purebloods what made you think they're just going to sit there and let me change their world."

"They won't. So we will have Draco to take on the Malfoy lordship. We need him as Chief Warlock."

~~~

"Dad?"

The small voice interrupted the onslaught of memories. He looked up to see his eldest son, James Sirius, shuffling his feet at the door of his office. He beckoned him to come to him. "What are you doing here this late, son? You're supposed to be at Hogwarts." And surely Severus would kill him if he found out his son took off from school to see him.

Harry could see that James still had his school uniform on without the robes. "Uncle Severus brought me here. He said to tell you to make sure I'm back for tomorrow's morning classes."

"What's going on?" 

James took the seat in front of his table but refused to meet his father's eyes. He kept his gaze on his hands as he clenched and unclenched them.

Harry didn't press James into talking, he just waited patiently for his son to speak up. He worried about what's bothering him so much he needed to come see him at this late hour.

"Dad, I went with Uncle Severus and Al to Diagon Alley today. They went and picked up Al's potion supplies. I went wondering without them for a bit," he looked up waiting for his father to react about going off on his own but his father just nodded for him to continue. "I saw Mom with Mr. Thomas at that expensive Quidditch store."

He knew Severus was taking Al to Diagon Alley today to pick up some ingredients as his son was doing some special lessons with the Headmaster even though he wouldn't be receiving his Hogwarts letter until next year. He didn't even consider James might be going with them or he would had spoken with the Headmaster about the possibility of his eldest going off somewhere he was not supposed to be and hearing the rumours. He had an idea what James saw but he prompted him. "Yes?"

"They were holding hands," he finished with difficulty.

Harry sighed as he could feel the irritation mounting. He already warned Ginny she needed to talk with the kids about anyone she might be going out with before the children found out somewhere else. "James, you know how me and your mom are separated right?"

"Yes, but I thought you would tell me if there's something like… something like that, right?" 

He hated Ginny for that look on his son, James might have felt lost seeing his mother with another man. 

"Do you know? About them?"

"No. Not for sure," he shook his head at James. "Not from your mother at least but I'm the Minister so I hear a lot of rumours."

"Do you have someone else as well?" 

"There's no one son. And if there's someone I promise you'll be the first to know." He stood to approach his son and kneel in front of him so they could be eye level. "I know this will be difficult and I'm so sorry about it. But I'm so proud of you that you came to me for answers. That's so grown up of you."

"Well, Uncle Severus said it would be better."

"I see," he smirked as he right himself. "Headmaster would have my head if you're not back on time."

"I doubt he would notice," he heard James grumbled. "Wonder what he'll do when Al starts Hogwarts next year and he won't have him for extra lessons."

"He would notice a Potter," he assured him. "And we will send Lily to him instead of the Burrows." He motioned for James to follow him outside of the office. He would need to speak with the Headmaster in case this family issue affect his kids, especially James. 

 

~~~

Harry went up passed the gargoyles that's guarding the entrance of the stairs to the Headmaster's office. He knew it's late but he also knew Severus, he would still be awake. The man's sleeping pattern was worse than his. He stepped inside the office and he could see Severus sitting behind his desk with a few open books in front of him.

"To what do I owe this dubious pleasure, Potter?" He inquired without looking up from what he was reading. 

He chuckled as he leaned against the side of the table and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Your student is back at the dorm, he also promised not to be late tomorrow."

"Later you mean." The older wizard sat back and faced Harry. "Are you here to relay to me how you're messing your life?"

"Actually, I'm taking the necessary steps to right it."

"And this includes your wife cheating on you," he asked doubtfully.

"Not really." Harry stopped to think for a while how he could explain the indifference he had been feeling. He couldn't be certain if it was just the marriage, his work or life in general, but he had been feeling detached from what was going on around him.

"Well?"

"We are separated. I wanted to file a divorce already but Gin asked that we hold it off since they are at a critical negotiation with a sponsor," Harry gave a small smile at Severus who had an expression of disbelief. "Well it won't be good press, right?"

"Right," the Headmaster agreed albeit sarcastically. "So she's using her connection to you as much as she can before she agreed to set you free but she doesn't have a problem flaunting an affair in the middle of Diagon Alley."

"From what James said, it's hardly the middle of Diagon Alley."

Severus leveled him with a gaze that clearly meant he didn't appreciate his attempt at humor. "I didn't risk my life to save you, for you to be separated and jobless at forty, Potter."

"Sorry, Dad."

"Brat!" 

He finally took the armchair in front of the table and slumped there. "I'm not jobless. I'll be retired. And I only took the work because it won't be done any other way. Now though someone else can take over and continue the work."

"I can't believe it's done," relief evidenced in his former professor's deep voice. 

"Took two decades but yeah. And I signed the last law earlier." He thought back to all the changes they needed to make. The wizarding world had been full of prejudices that had a potential to cause another Dark Lord to take advantage of. They needed to make everything equal to everyone, human or not, purebloods or muggle-borns. The changes though couldn't happen right away they needed to introduce it properly or they would have the rest of the world who was set on their ways working against them. Saviour or not, people were not going to accept drastic changes. And all were not possible without the man in front of him sitting in the background, planning and scheming with Hermione who was currently Head of Muggle Affairs and of course Draco who built the crumbling foundation of the Malfoy lordship by sheer will and took the seat as Chief Warlock and finally Ron sitting at his right hand as the Head Auror.

"I see. That's good then. That would legalized the use of Ministry-approved potions and spell for same-sex couples to have a chance of having biological children."

There was a comfortable silence as they both contemplate on the conclusion of all their plans. Harry noticed the wedding ring still on his finger. He was working at making the lives of other people easier when his own marriage is about to be dissolved. He contemplated on removing it but thought better of it and left the ring on. He looked up to see the Headmaster studying him. He knew this man have his best interest at heart and wouldn't hesitate to protect him. With that thought he took a deep breath and decided to confide in him. "I think there's something wrong with me."

Harry told Severus about the strange sensation he had about what was happening around him. He said that it had been a long time since he felt part of the world he was moving in. He described the feeling of seeing your life from outside through a window looking in. He knew what's happening but he was not there. 

"Hermione said it's depression but I don't think so. It's been gradually getting worse as the years pass by."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was delayed with all of this scenarios playing in my mind but none getting any concrete plot! XD

Draco Malfoy was standing at the Platform 9 3/4, he came with his wife and his son, Scorpius who would be going to Hogwarts today, when he over heard Harry Potter talking to his second son Albus Severus. Harry was assuring the kid that it wouldn't matter if he got sorted to Slytherin as the bravest man he knew was from that House. He smiled to himself as he excused himself from Astoria who was busy chatting animatedly with her friend Fleur Weasley. He quietly walked over to Harry and his son. 

"Are you referring to me? Bravest, eh? That's flattering." 

"Shut up Malfoy," Harry stood from where he was crouching down to speak with his son and extended his hand to him in greeting.

"Uncle Draco! Where's Scorp?" Al asked as Draco took the offered hand briefly.

The kid has been close to his son since they were kids through his godfather Severus Snape. There was also instances he met him at the Burrows when he visited his godson Hugo. "I'm sure he is here somewhere with the Weasley flock." He turned back to the child after glancing about them looking for his son. "As to your concern about Houses, you'll do well in Slytherin, look at Headmaster Snape and myself," he whispered and winked at Al playfully.

"Right. And you would be as humble as them too, I'm sure." Harry shook his head at Draco's antics. The man had definitely changed since they were at Hogwarts even going as far as helping them with the laws they initiated. But there was still a distance between them that they couldn't overcome. He could not pinpoint when it started but they grew apart as the years went by. 

"Father!" 

The three of them turned to see Scorpius running towards them with James and Rose following slower behind.

"Uncle Harry, thank you for the new broom and the Quidditch book for my birthday! It was really amazing," Scorpius excitedly relayed to them.

"That's right, I'm sure Astoria appreciates the two broken bones. Really amazing, Potter," Draco added. "Well hopefully it helps in Slytherin winning the House Cup."

"I doubt that with two Potters this year. Harry turned to his younger son, "Get that snitch and win the Cup for us okay?"

"Hey, I'm also a Potter," James protested.

"Yeah but us seekers normally win the game for the team," Draco boasted.

"So are you joining the team too, Rose?" Harry asked his young goddaughter.

"There's already too many Weasleys, no need for me to join."

"There can never be too many Weasley," Ron announced as the Head Auror approached the group with his wife.

"Well there are other things to do other than Quidditch," Hermione countered.

"Not really, Aunt 'Mione," Harry's eldest said.

A few more minutes of friendly banter and it was finally time to board the train. Draco and Astoria had a few more words with Scorpius before sending him off. He could see the Potters and the Weasleys doing something similar but he noted the absence of Ginny.

~~~

Draco handed a stack of parchment to his wife Astoria as she sat in front of him in his library. They took the west wing of the Malfoy Manor when they got married leaving the east side to his parents. Though living with them, Draco and his family had their privacy as they have their own sitting room and dining room. They only ventured in his parents part of the house on occasion.

Astoria took the parchments and perused them curiously, finding that it was their divorce papers. "Took you long enough, you've had this for months."

"I was having our solicitor verify it but after receiving that letter from your son, I deemed it fit to hurry the matter. Giving birth to a Gryffindor Malfoy heir is definitely grounds for divorce I think."

"Git!"

He chuckled softly at his wife. They had been close friends and reliable companion to each other but after Scorpius left for Hogwarts, he knew that Astoria wanted her freedom and he was only glad to be able to grant it. "I can't believe you're having me foot the bill for your charity works still."

"Let me remind you, that charity work did wonders to the Malfoy name."

Draco would just have to agree. Astoria and Fleur's work for the orphaned children of the war did a lot in making sure that he was nominated Chief Warlock.

"You know I was there," Astoria spoke silently he barely heard her. "On our wedding day you spoke to Harry before the ceremony."

Draco blanched and tried to deny it but Astoria cut him off.

"Ginny's divorcing him. I don't know what you did that day. I heard you cast a spell but I don't know what it is, whatever it was might have a great effect in you and Harry. I heard Hermione speaking about Harry's condition she thinks it's depression but it's similar to yours."

"What do you mean?" He really couldn't remember specific details of that day anymore. He could recall the need to free Harry and the excruciating pain of letting him go and promising himself to another person.

"I should say opposite instead of the same because where you can't stay awake he could hardly sleep. But Hermione mentioned something that made think of you, he was starting to forget certain details of his life and he only have vague recollection of some events." Astoria had her eyes trained on him as she wait for him to process what she told him.

The symptoms were definitely similar. Could it be a side effect of the spell? But why? Why now? Draco would have to study it in depth and speak with his godfather, Severus. He shivered at the thought of needing to confide to the older wizard. "You're not joining the family dinner with my parents, are you?"

"And what? Listen to your father go on and on about my son being sorted to Gryffindor? No thank you, Draco. I would rather deal with the chaos of a Weasley family dinner." Astoria stood up to leave but before opening the door she looked back at Draco. "Does it really bother you?"

"There's a Potter in Slytherin, it does not bother me one bit to have a son in the house of the lion, Astoria. It's not a failure."

She nodded at him looking assured and left him alone, closing the door softly behind her.

~~~

Draco woke up with a jolt as, he blinked a few times as he tried to discern his surroundings. 

"Son, wake up."

He rubbed his eyes and opened them again to see his mother seated at the edge of his bed. "Mother. What's going on?"

"What's going on? Lolly told me you've been sleeping for three days!" His mother's voice was a bit hysterical. "Three days, Draco! If you have not missed the meeting at Wizengamot, I wouldn't even bother to ask your house-elf as you rarely venture into our part of the Manor."

"Mother--"

"Where's that wife of yours?"

"We're separated remember?" He tried to sit up but the prolonged sleep might have taken its toll on his muscles as he had a hard time moving and his head felt disconnected from his body. "I'll be sure to see a healer," he said to placate his panicked mother.

"I'm on my way to see Severus, would you like me to ask him over?" 

He shook his head not wanting his mother to be there when he have that conversation with the older wizard. "Go to your Friday afternoon tea with Severus and Potter. I'll catch him a different time."

"I really don't have to go. I'm certain Severus and Harry would understand."

"I'm just really exhausted, Mother, please." Narcissa was reluctant to leave him but he managed to walk her to the door even though he felt unstable on his feet. He collapsed on his knees as soon as he closed the door. He looked at his wedding ring, surrounded with dark aura, he could feel the ring draining his magical core, feeding on his magic. He was tempted to remove it but decided against it, who knew what complications would appear after wearing a cursed ring for so long. 

~~~

Minister's Office

Harry was getting ready to leave for the day, actually for good. That thought gave him so much relief, finally he could let go and live his life in his own terms. It might have been two decades overdue but still…

There was a sudden flash of vision of what seemed to be the Astronomy Tower and then the squeezing sensation in his chest that spread up to his throat. Harry clutched at his chest as he felt the excruciating pain consume him. He could not even manage to scream as the pain made it difficult to breath. 

Another flash of the Astronomy Tower but this time he was not alone but he could not place who the other person was. He toppled to the floor as the pain intensified, his hands trying to claw his throat and chest in an attempt to get rid of the ache. He felt the tears streaming down his face as fear fear of certain death gripped him.

With a vision of him standing at the Astronomy Tower overlooking the Hogwarts grounds and someone holding his hand, his chest felt like it would explode. In panic he realized the visions might be triggering the pain so he tried to clear his mind and occlude. As he felt his mind's shields establish, the pain receded and it was a bit easier to breath. 

He found himself lying on the floor panting, thanking Snape's insistence that he learned Occlumency even after the war.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I can skip the whole thing and get Draco and Harry together. XD

Harry was having a quiet time after he tucked in Lily for the night. James and Albus were in Hogwarts so now that he was retired from the Ministry he spent it mostly at home with his only daughter. He could not decide yet what to do after his stint as a minister, with his health declining, he had very few options. 

"Harry?" He perked up when he heard his name called from the floo. He turned to the fireplace to see his ex-wife Ginny peering from the green flames. "Oh thank goodness you're there. Harry I need to tell you something. Oh Harry, I'm really sorry."

The guilt was written all over her face that Harry started to worry what in Merlin's she had done this time. He kept quiet to let her finish.

"They were hounding me and I got pissed so I yelled at them that we're already divorced and that we have all the right in the world to be together. I was so mad I didn't realize how many people was listening," her words tumbling over each other in her rush to say her piece, her worry obviously bordering on panic.

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to calm himself before speaking to Ginny. "Where were you, Ginny?" He heard the edge of rage in his tone and saw the Ginny flinched.

"We were at a conference for the team," he almost didn't hear her answer, her voice too low.

"Oh for fuck sakes, Gin!" He just lost it. How stupid could she get to announce something like that with probably half the wizarding press present. "Do you realize that'll be all over the papers tomorrow? Your children will hear about it! And we both know the divorce papers are not yet finalized!" She outright lied to save herself and Dean at the expense of her children. "Get lost Gin. Before I go over there and Godric stop me, because I'll wring your pretty neck." With that he wave his hand to close the floo connection, not giving the witch a chance to speak.

Damage control. Yeah he could do that. He would need to speak to his children tonight. That would mean going to Hogwarts and having to explain this to Snape too. He could already imagine the Headmaster's reaction, the man was not a supporter his marriage to Ginny. He had always been vocal of her dislike for his former wife's extravagant nature but Snape kept the peace, for the most part as he was very fond of the three Potter children. 

He was definitely not looking forward to his conversation with his children either. They were made aware of the separation before their mother moved out of the house but having this kind of news spread out to the wizarding world was bound to be a traumatic experience to them.

He proceeded to wake Lily and brought her downstairs to floo to the Headmaster's office. 

~~~

Headmaster Snape was closing for the night when his floo flamed and he saw Harry with Lily step out. "What now, Potter?"

"Uncle Severus," Lily let go of his father's hand to run to the older wizard's side.

"I need to see my sons. I have to tell the kids something, it's urgent." He saw Severus' eyes darkened at his tone. He caught on the seriousness of the matter.

"You really can't avoid trouble even if your life depends on it, can you?" Snape started towards the door, "I trust you know where to find Jamie while I get Albus Severus. Lily you can go to my private quarters to wait."

~~~

Harry had always been grateful with how his kids turned out even though he did not have a good childhood himself. He had never been as relieved as he felt that night speaking with his children about their mother's situation. He might have omitted Ginny's blunder with the press but told them that the separation was made public. 

They were unusually quiet but that could only be expected. This would make it final in their eyes. He knew that they still held hope that Ginny would come back home to them and complete the family again. He was loathe to destroy that hope how small it might be.

Severus let Lily take his bed and he left her to join Harry who was at the sitting room in front of the fireplace. "Have you seen a mirror lately? You looked like hell."

He gave him a self deprecating smile, "Been a tough week." Severus raised his wand at him. "What are you doing?"

The Headmaster shook his head at him and continued whispering some incantation. After a few more minutes he brought his wand down to get some vials of potion and handed it to Harry. "You're cursed! Or at least that ring is. Here drink this. This should ease the drain on your core until we figure it out further."

"I can't just remove now, can't I?" He took the potions and drank them without asking what it is. Severus' brews were perfect, the Weasleys', Malfoys and Potters does not take anything that's not made by him or recommended at least. 

"If you want to risk death then be my guest," Severus shrugged.

"Do you work hard on being a bastard or does it come naturally?" Harry returned.

"I aim to please."

~~~

"Cursed?" Hermione shrieked at the news. She thought that Harry was just depressed with the fall out of his divorce.

"That's what Severus said. I doubt he's mistaken." Harry invited Hermione and Ron to his home a few days after his visit to Hogwarts. Their children was at the Burrows together with the other younger cousins. He was certain Astoria and Fleur were spoiling them rotten. With their kids at Hogwarts those two witches had too much time in their hands. Draco had been complaining to Molly how the Manor had seen more than four redecorating since Scorpius left for Hogwarts less than four months ago.

"Snape said anything about getting rid of the curse?" Ron asked as he took the seat next to his wife, bringing a dish with him and placing it on the table.

"He said he'll look into it but to not attempt to remove the ring." Harry held up his hand to look at the ring. It had been on his finger since he married Ginny more than twenty years ago and he had never removed it ever.

"How is it that it's cursed then," Hermione leaned over and waved her wand on the ring, scanning it. There were runes symbols that appeared on the surface of the ring, the runes illuminated for a while then completely disappeared. "It looks old. It's probably been there since you put it on."

"Severus said the spell is dark but the intention on the spell was not evil. The caster did not intend to hurt me. But since the curse had been on me for a long time it's starting to take its toll."

"Where did you purchase the ring then?" Ron asked in between bites.

"I would have to check, I can't remember but I'm sure the papers are in the study somewhere. I don't throw away those kind of stuff."

"I'll do it." Hermione turned to go to his study.

"She won't stand still until we clear you." Ron just shrugged and continued to eat.

 

~~~

They joined Hermione after eating and sharing a bottle of firewhisky. She was bent over a large parchment spread on the large table in the center of his study. 

"I didn't know you planned to renovate the house in Godric's Hollow." Hermione started when she heard them enter the room. "Why didn't you finish it?"

"I didn't know." He approached the table and studied the plans Hermione was referring to. It was indeed a floor plan of his parent's place. He did not remember making them though.

Ron joined them as well looking at the edges of the plans that have some notes on it. "It has some notes from Draco here. He wrote changes on the plans and it has some of yours too. Might be something you made when you guys were living together."

"Living together?" He looked as his friends with a confused expression. "When was that?"

The two shared a look before turning back to Harry. "We need to get back to Headmaster Snape," Hermione announced.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took a while but here it is. Written while listening to Secret Love Song by Little Mixx. XD

Draco stumbled out of the fireplace into the Headmaster's office. He felt so weak that he thought it was short of a miracle he was successful in using the floo. "Severus.." Then all was darkness.

He opened his eyes to an unfamiliar room but after a bit of cursory look from where he was laid he recognized his godfather's private quarters in Hogwarts.

"I should have known it was you." Headmaster Snape strolled in holding a couple of vials with clear liquids inside. "Pepper-up and this other one is to soothe your magical core. Your magic had slowly been dwindling to almost nothing."

He struggled to sit up on the bed and drained both the potions the man handed him. "What do you mean " you should have known "? Should have known what?" He stared at the older wizard curiously.

"You're the one who cursed Harry," he simply stated. He waited for Draco to deny it but his averted gaze told him what he needed to know. He took a deep breath before taking the edge of the bed to sit with his back to Draco. "You tried to erase your magical signature but I have known you since you were born. It's faint but it is still recognizable to me."

He slumped back on the bed with his arm covering his eyes. He had been going over and over about this conversation inside his head but he never did factor in that Severus already knew about it. "How did you know?"

"Potter came here regularly to check on his children especially after his divorce. He was looking worse and worse each time and Granger suggested possible depression but I felt something…off. Out of place. In that theory so I ran some scans in him for dark magic and I was able to identify his wedding ring as cursed." Severus angled to face him. "I just could not figure out the reasons for it. I thought you put those differences to rest years ago."

He was not ready to tell this part of their story. He needed to speak to Harry first. It was becoming imperative that they finally discuss their previous relationship or one of them would be dead, it could even be both of them. "I need to talk to him about it first."

"You're in luck then," Severus announced as he stood. "Granger and Weasley brought him here earlier while you were unconscious and they're in the sitting room. I'll call him," Severus waited for Draco to decline hearing nothing from him, he left.

Draco still could not decide where to start when Harry entered. He heard the other wizard close the door softly and approached him on the bed. He took the edge of it like Severus did earlier.

"Here I am," Harry said quietly. "Severus said we need to talk about what is happening to us."

"I did it," he blurted.

"I kind of figured that out. Both Severus and Hermione confirmed the intention of the spell was not to harm me. That's why you're still here and not on your way to Azkabhan." He could hear the threat in Harry's voice as he continued. "You better give me a compelling reason."

Draco could only see the side of Harry's face and he would want to see his expression. He touched the man's arm lightly to silently ask him to face him. "Where do you want me to start?" Draco asked when they were finally eye to eye.

"I guess tell me why? I thought we're friends now they kept telling me we were so close at the end of our stay in Hogwarts. I want to know why I could not remember it though. They said we lived together for a while and we travelled a lot as well. I don't recall all of these. Why?" He was pleading him for information, for confirmation that it was all true. "Hermione saw some of our plans for Godric's Hollow. There were also correspondence that was hidden in my office spelled close unless I opened it myself…alone. They're definitely my handwriting addressed to you but I don't have a memory of ever writing them and yours are there as well."

"Did you read it?" Draco asked carefully, dreading the answer. Those letters were from before he married Astoria. He left it with Harry when he left Grimauld Place. 

"Yes and they're…," Harry breathed deeply and looked away. "They're obviously letters to a lover."

"I see. Then there's not much to tell. We were lovers," he confirmed. "I only have a very vague recollection of certain things because of the curse."

"Not much to tell?" Harry yelled at him. "There's so much you need to tell me! Draco…"

Draco closed his eyes tightly. It was such a mess, it would escalate further and he did not have any way to stop it. "You have so much you wanted to do, Harry." He did not open his eyes when he continued. He realized it was easier to deal with the memories without Harry's green eyes boring at him. "I knew even then that those goals would keep as apart. I knew it was hopeless but just a little, just for a while I wanted to be with you and for some miracle of fate you wanted me too." He had always wondered what someone like Harry who had always have an innate goodness would want to be with someone as broken as him. 

~~~

A few months after Hogwarts

"Why in Merlin's name are we going round with Bill Weasley looking for cursed goblin artifacts in the middle of the a freaking desert island?!" Draco shrieked as they entered Grimauld Place. "You said we're going to travel. You did not say it would be for work. And why cursed objects? Didn't you have enough of that?"

They both collapsed on the settee in front of the fireplace. It was a tiring day and Harry knew Draco was pissed off about the whole thing. Harry apparated them to the coordinates given by Bill and it turned out to be an isolated island in the middle of the Atlantic. It was not uninhabited though, there was a small wizarding community living there. Draco kept ranting about unknown diseases they might have caught "trekking godforsaken caves". Harry was just looking at him holding back a laugh.

Draco knew it makes people wonder how they turned from enemies to buddies. He could not call them best friends, not really, for Harry that would still be Hermione and Ron. So what were they doing exactly? He just wanted to be with him as much as he could and he knew how limited that time was.

Harry rested his head on his shoulder and intertwined their hands. He grunted as he tried to remove his hands but Harry just held tighter. "Harry."

The other wizard just chuckled at his warning tone. "That's how you sound when you knew I'll be in trouble but you're with me anyway." Harry tilted his head to him and he forgot all his misgivings when their lips met. He cursed the rest of the world to hell when Harry's tongue touched his.

~~~

"What happened then? If we were happy then what happened?" Harry prompted Draco when he stopped talking, lost in his own thoughts.

"The wizarding world happened, Potter," he spat at him with bitterness. How he hated Harry's righteousness sometimes but it was one of the things that made him who he was. "It was chaos, things were not better after you killed the Dark Lord. And I just knew you wanted to do something. You told me you wanted some difference for all those children not to have to suffer, not to have the same experience we did. You do not want them in a war losing their innocence so young and having to choose sides. But it's not going to happen as an Auror and we both knew that."

"I refuse to believe I would let go of someone I obviously love just so I could be the Minister and change the world." Harry knew he was not that person he would never leave anyone not even at the expense of the rest of the world. "I would have found a way."

"You're not like that, Harry," he confirmed. "But you don't have the necessity of time. So I left." He left and in the process broke his own heart. How much it pained him seeing Harry standing in his kitchen that morning trying to hold himself together. "I knew even then you would not let go. You were on the verge of asking me not to marry Astoria and I would have let you have your way. So I cursed both of us."

"Godric's Hollow," Harry said after a while of silence. "Those plans."

"I honestly don't remember. But I would not be surprised that we have them because we have so many plans." They did have a lot of them, places to go and things to see. "We were so deluded," he said quietly.

"I want my memories back, Malfoy. I don't care how painful they are, I want them back. They're obviously calling out to me or I would not be feeling miserable like this." He reached out to touch Draco's face prompting the other man to open his eyes. "We have to cancel the curse, Draco. Please, it's killing you."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took a while I was feeling a bit lost on how to continue but the rainy days inspired me to start again.

Draco found Harry seated near the window glass of the café enjoying his cake and tea. He made a beeline for him ignoring the greetings as he entered the place. "What the hell? You just walked out to what? Eat some cake?" Draco huffed as he took the seat opposite of Harry.

They were discussing theories on how to cancel the curse when Harry excused himself and did not come back. They all combed Hogwarts and even had to check with the children to try and find Harry. When they were not able to see a trace of him after going to the Astronomy Tower he figured he should try Hogsmeade after seeing a glimpse of the town from the tower.

Harry ignored him and just savored another bite of the cake. He sighed when he saw Draco's exasperated look. "It seemed like a good idea at the time," he said simply.

It was just too much for Harry to hear them discuss parts of his life he did not have memory of. He just apparated to the edge of Hogsmeade and as he walked towards the center of the wizarding town, his feet led him to the small elegant-looking café.

"It took me a while to choose a cake," Harry told the other man.

"You always do," Draco smiled to himself as he remembered all those instances he berated Harry about taking so much time to order something.

"Tell me," Harry said when he saw Draco's faraway look.

"It's slowly leaving me, the details, I mean," he admitted. "But I remember the important ones."

Harry waited as the other wizard collected himself and decided what to say. 

"I remember how you took your time here, deciding what to eat…"

Harry's surroundings seemed to fade as Draco's voice took him through the memories.

~~~

Draco would stand there with Harry by the counter as he waited for the Gryffindor to take a pick from the selection of sweets. He never really understood the time Harry spent just choosing a cake. 

After what seemed to Draco was a long time, Harry would finish his order.

"What was your other choice?" Draco would ask him.

Harry would point out another slice that looked to him as the same as the others on the display. But once Harry left the counter to take his seat he would ask for whatever Harry pointed to be boxed and delivered to his dorm room.

There would be times in eight year that Harry would quietly wander around the corridors of Hogwarts. Draco would follow him without starting a conversation, not even caring that it was after curfew. They would normally end up in the Astronomy Tower and they would just sit there until the early hours as the sunlight conquer the dark.

After Hogwarts when Harry decided to drag him all over Europe to travel, they were rarely in England. But on those occasions they stayed at Grimauld Place.

"Draco," he would hear Harry calling him in the middle of the night and sometimes early morning. "I'm hungry."

It would not matter that he would point out the time of the day, Harry would just apparate them in some nondescript restaurant that he heard served great stew. He would sit there dumbfounded that the owner opened to them without suspicions at the odd hour of the day. Draco would just shake his head after a while and accept that he was with Harry Potter and everything was very possible when the wizard set his mind to it.

They started sleeping together after coming back from one of their travels and Draco became attuned to Harry's sleeping patterns. Harry would wake up from a nightmare screaming and they would just cling to each other without talking, both of them remembering stories that were better left unsaid. He would just gather Harry in his arms and slowly rub his back as the remnants of whatever dark place he was in when Harry closed his eyes, dissipate.

~~~

Harry's mind was pulled back to the café when he heard the catch on Draco's voice.

"You were there in the kitchen trying to hold yourself together as I said goodbye and I couldn't do anything to comfort you, to stop the pain," Draco raised his eyes to met Harry's. "Tell me that I should not have done what I did. Tell me," he pleaded. 

"Draco," he started.

"I can't see you like that, Harry. You brought life back to my life but you were slowly killing yourself when I left. You have so much you wanted to do."

"I want those memories back. I don't care how painful they are, those are mine. Ours." Harry reached out to squeeze Draco's hand. "They are part of a very important time in my life and Draco," he added carefully, "this curse is slowly killing you. I don't care what they say that removing the ring might do irreparable damage to me because the fact is if we don't cancel the spell you will die. And I won't let that happen."

~~~ 

They apparated just outside Hogwarts and as they walked towards the entrance they saw the Headmaster waiting for them. 

Draco sensed they were both expecting Severus to scold them as he used to do when the older man caught them at the Astronomy Tower after curfew. But once they were near enough to see his expression, he just nodded to them and headed back inside without saying anything.

Harry looked at him and they both just shrugged it off and followed the Headmaster.

Hermione was still at the Severus' office when they arrived back but Ron already left to check on their children who were both at the Burrows, taking Lily with him.

"Sorry," Harry muttered.

Hermione visibly tried to calm herself before speaking. "Just don't go off like that, okay? I still have nightmares of the last time you did that." 

They all knew what she was referring to so Harry just nodded.

"So much for the dramatics, Potter," Severus started mockingly. "So we are in agreement we can't let the ring stay. No amount of shields would hold the curse enough to let Draco live more than a fortnight."

"But we need to do this properly," Hermione added. "We need to find a safe place to do this and it would have to be warded. We also need a healer ready just in case."

"Let's do this in one of our properties, we used to live there. It is isolated and far from any community, both wizarding and muggles." Draco carefully looked at Harry who was sitting opposite him. The man looked up with understanding in his green eyes. It was a place they occupied for a few months before going back to Grimauld after their travels, just a few weeks before they separated.

Severus cleared his throat before continuing, seeing the exchange between his two former students. "I'll have Bill take care of the warding. Let us do this in three days. That should be enough to have everything ready, waiting further might be fatal."

"I would like to us to speak with the children," Harry told Draco, holding his gaze.

He understood what Harry would like them to do so he nodded in agreement. This might not end up the way they wanted and they would need to be honest with their children. He dreaded the conversation.

~~~

Hermione left to join her husband and promised to be back the following day. Harry and Draco found their sons in the Headmaster's private quarters. Severus did not come with them anymore posting some duties he needed to attend to.

"Dad!" Al ran to Harry arms going around him. 

"Sorry to make you worry, son." Harry also looked apologetically to James who was standing awkwardly behind his brother.

"So?" Scorpius started. "What happens now, Father?"

"Now we work on cancelling the spell," Draco started to relay to them what had been decided after they sat around Severus' dining table.

"So it could kill you," James asked as he tried to understand everything he was just told. 

"In a nutshell, yes," Harry confirmed. "It might, either way. What we are certain of is that the curse is rapidly killing Draco."

"Father," Scorpius hugged his father tightly, not wanting to let go. The possibility that he might lose him was just too much for the child.

"I'm sorry for the decisions I made. It was the best option I had at time." They argued earlier as to how much to tell the children at the end though the truth was the only thing that made sense and they knew their sons were just too smart not to figure it out on their own.

Harry could see that they still had a lot of questions but he told them to hold off until they survived breaking the curse. They reluctantly agreed and headed back to their dorms. 

Al was the last one to go and he turned back when the other two was already out of earshot. "Whatever happened from here, I love you, Dad."

Harry did not have a chance to answer as the boy went and closed the door behind him.

Draco buried his face on his hands as he waited for Harry to speak. He could feel the effects of the Pepper Up potion fading as he fought the tiredness that was trying to claim him. The possibilities of what might happen was making it hard to breath and he started to hyperventilate. He felt Harry rubbing his back as he tried to calm himself. He took deep breaths, concentrating on Harry's rhythmic touch and after a few moments his head cleared. "It had been ages since I had a panic attack."

"When was it?" Harry asked carefully still touching Draco's back.

"Just before I moved with you to Grimauld Place. Father was released from Azkabhan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it as gloomy as the sky outside?

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me your thoughts in the comments below. Thanks for reading.


End file.
